Wanting Peace
Have you ever reminisced and thought to yourself, "I haven't felt like that in years" or "Those were some good times".
The Memories
I began saying these things to myself when I hit 13. Being at home sitting alone in my room reminiscing about all the fun my best friend and I used to play hopscotch on roller blades back in elementary, not skates, but roller blades.
I thought of how talented we were and we impressed each other. Now, mind you, I would still see my best friend just about everyday. She lived only a few blocks away.
After that day of reminiscing and thinking to myself, we had so much fun but we don't do those things anymore. Instead, we would climb trees and go swimming, riding our bikes up and down steep hills. My bike was always so rough and it would take so much energy going up the steep hills but I was determined because I knew it was going to be fun coming back down.
When it would snow, we would lay out in the snow talking and just being silly (didn't have cell phones in those days lol). Looking up at the sky until it got dark and stars began to shine. That's when we would go back in and lay by the fireplace. Our skin felt like needle and pins but it was worth it.
Less Fortunate Than Others
One year later after this day, we were no longer close because my family and I had to move to a city nearby, about an hour away but felt like forever. My family moved around a lot.
After we moved into the nearby city, we kept in touch and she came to stay with me during that summer. It took time to get used to this because there were more roads and buildings than what I was used to.
My family was not as fortunate as others and we would go dumpster diving. My parents kept us safe and made sure that we didn't feel less fortunate than the other kids. Even though we didn't have the nice things that the other kids had, we were content with it.
I was blind to the fact that dumpster diving was not something that families normally do. And during that summer, she came along with us not knowing that's what the activity for the day was going to be. I hopped right into the dumpster as usual, excited and ready to find things that I have been wanting. These were clean dumpsters where grocery stores would throw away sealed/packaged food and drinks that haven't expired yet but nearing the expiration date.
When I hopped in there and found some pudding, I was ecstatic and jumped up, head poking out of the dumpster with the pudding in my hand high up in the air and a big grin on my face yelling, "Look! We've got pudding! Come on Alice, come get some snacks!" My best friend's eyes grew big and the expression on her face was ... shocked, sad, and confused. She wasn't disgusted, she was concerned. She shook her head and went back to the car.
That's when I realized that I was inside a dumpster and was picking through trash, it was clean throw aways, but I was in a dumpster.
After my friend left and went back home. I felt that I wasn't worth her friendship and that we are two different people. I didn't keep in touch with her much after that, even though she sent me such an amazing birthday gift that I thought the world of, it wasn't that significant to others, but it meant the world to me. She would still call me and I would tell her how much I have changed, mentioning the negatives and trying to be cool at the same time.
I began running with the wrong crowd and the phone calls, gifts, letters... they all stopped coming. Her kindness was very much appreciated but It wasn't reciprocated, not that I didn't want to but I just didn't think I was worthy. I didn't know why back then, but I know now.
I continued to make friends, but I wasn't good at keeping in touch or reaching out. When we would move, I would make empty promises to send letters and call. I just wasn't good at those things and couldn't understand why.
As I became older, I would admit to my friends that I am horrible at keeping touch. I didn't know why, but I know now.
I thought that I was great at self evaluation all these years because ever since I was a little girl I would go to bed at night replaying the interactions I had that day and what I could have done better or how I should act. Maybe certain situations would have played out better. I began molding myself and creating my mask.
Fast forward to my 40s. I now take off my mask now and then. I chip away at my own walls for myself. I have come to the realization that I have been in this identity crisis for over 40 years.
So much has happened in my life between then and now, of course, but one thing that hasn't changed that has helped me slowly unmask and become at peace with myself are the daily habits I realized I had began creating since I was just a little girl to now. I have broken them down to only 5 in hopes that these daily habits will be simple enough and helpful for you to implement.
Let's get into it!
Here are my 5 Daily Habits that has brought more peace into my life:
1. Be honest with yourself
Practice by reminiscing about both the good and the hard moments. Start small. Allow yourself to sit in your feelings without judgment. Accept what comes up—peace begins with truth.
2. Remind yourself it’s okay to give yourself 100%
Even if you don’t fully know how yet. Start with something small that brings you joy or comfort.
Let yourself laugh loudly, save money for something meaningful, or simply exist as yourself—without shrinking. Peace grows when you stop holding yourself back.
3. Stay present in the moment
Peace doesn’t live in the past or the future—it lives in right now.
Take a few minutes each day to slow down. Notice your breathing, your surroundings, or even your thoughts. Even 10 minutes of mindfulness can reduce stress and improve emotional balance. [health.harvard.edu], [sciencedaily.com]
4. Practice self-compassion (talk to yourself kindly)
The way you speak to yourself matters.
Instead of “I’m not good enough,” try:
“I’m learning.”
“I’m growing.”
“I did my best today.”
Research shows that mindfulness and self-awareness practices improve emotional well-being and reduce negative thinking. [pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov]
5. Let go of what you cannot control
This is one of the hardest—but most freeing—habits.
Not every relationship is meant to last the same way forever. Not every version of you is meant to stay.
Peace comes when you stop trying to control outcomes and start trusting your path. Just remember that you must put forth the effort though.
Printable coming soon!
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